Google Search Phrases

Okay, so every once in awhile, I’ll check all of my website statistics in order to study various traffic information, like average visits per day, files viewed, error logs … that sort of lame stuff. Why? It’s just something that we nerdy webmasters do, mmkay?

Anyway, back to my story.

There’s also the opportunity to see keyphrases that were used to find your site.  You know… you go to Google, type in a search term, and out pops out a dozen pages of results, you click a link? Well the actual search term that you use, it gets recorded into a site’s log. (Scary, huh?)

Booooooring, I hear ya.  Normally, it is.  But I always manage to come across a few keyphrases that make me giggle slightly, albeit while scratching my head in an “eh?” sort of fashion.

So here’s some of the obvious search terms that lead Googlers here: (with my comments enclosed in parenthesis, much like now)

adsense income suddenly drops
how to keep kids occupied while making dinner
moms creating baby food
nut-free brownie recipe
ways to keep babies occupied? (let them gnaw on a boob… always did the job for me)
ramblings (ha, guilty as charged)
my 9 month old suddenly wont go to sleep and stay asleep (welcome to the club, sistah)
mom works and rocks (awww, that’s nice)
work at home mom blog design (so there’s a need for it)
being a mom rocks (it sure does, for the most part)

Now here are some web searches that kind of made me go “uh, okay?”:

creative ways to fold a rag  (um, I don’t know how to do that, but okay)
creative ways to hang utensils (I didn’t realize there was one)
things to keep you occupied when you’re bored at school (apparently the internet?)
mom rocks wallpaper (I looked around, and don’t see any around here)
mom rocks necklace  (again, nope)
mom with flashlight behind kids  (should I be in front of them? hells no!)
mom what is that under the blanket (it’s me, leave me alone!)

And these, my baker’s dozen o’ readers, are the searches that I am filing in my mental “WTF?” file:
moms are rocks (say again?)
i haven’t cleaned my house  (okay, so this one is semi-believable)
bath tub worm farm (see above search for the possibility on why I could very well have one of my very own)
legal crack (I admit that I once posted about this… dunno if it’s in the archives or not, but it’s not what you think)
legal crack diet (sounds like a great upcoming book title… Random House, I’ll kick your nuts if you steal this from me)
percocet craigslist (oh sure, like I’d part with a percocet!)
mom live showing ass (I swear it’s not MY ass, don’t you worry)
my mom sniffer
sniffer mom (I don’t even want to know, okay?)

Oh well, they gave me a chuckle anyway.  I’ll post more next month if I find any goodies.