What I wouldn’t give right now for a maid, a nanny, and a percocet.

I have eight bazillion things to do, and about a million things to do here at this site. (Amongst other semi-important things such as showering, eating, sleeping.)  I probably could even get to a 1/10000th of them if my daughter would sleep. Ever.  For some reason, I gave birth to a female robot who has no need or desire for a nap lasting longer than 6 minutes.  If you think I’m joking, please step over the clothes piled on the floor and somehow make your way here to my living room.

(Photo of living room was supposed to go here, but the room is so hammered that I chickened out at the last minute.  Still - just pretend it’s here and you’re horrified, k?)

Alright, so maybe this doesn’t prove that my 16 week old doesn’t sleep. Maybe it just means that I’m a total slob. But really.  It’s because I can’t get anything done here. When she’s content, she needs to be held.  And if I put her down momentarily for a bathroom trip, I now immediately just head over to my Tyelenol cabinet because it’s instant headache.

I’m throwing around the idea of hiring a one-time cleaning lady to help me out. Just get me somewhat cleaned out and hopefully I can maintain it from then.  Probably a waste of money, I know, but it really makes me feel depressed living/working around such a mess.   When someone does stop by to see the baby is my only real chance at getting anything done… and that’s maybe an hour out of each week.   So I’ll probably look around Craigslist tonight and see if anyone fits the bill.

I wonder if the ad I’ve started to write will scare anyone off?

Wanted:   Someone to save my sanity.  I haven’t cleaned my house in 16 weeks.  I can’t find my sink, but I presume it’s somewhere in the room where I’m supposed to be cooking.  I don’t know where my cleaning supplies are, so you will need to bring your own.  You can take some before and after photos if you desire, so you can share this with your disbelieving cleaning friends.  Can you help me?  Please?  I will leave the back door open; feel free to climb your way in.

Yeah, I’m still working on it. I suppose I should leave my meager attempt at humor out (although I’m sadly not joking).

I seriously don’t know how people have two + kids and still have a nice, clean home and a home business.  I can usually only have one of those things at any one given time.  If the place is clean, my business is failing.  If it’s a disaster here, the kids are usually fed and clothed (for the most part).  If I’m doing well with work, my kids are screaming and I can’t find them in the clutter.

Percocet, take me away.